holy shit blog, whats up? its been a w-hile, i know, but hey, sometimes you get busy with life and mopeds and lovin and sexting and rallys and you don't update your blog.
so nicole and i are back together, and all i can say is that i love her very very much
and i was kind of a mess without her
and i am looking forward to our plans together, coming to fruition.
the big news is that right after i got back from whiskey biz
my magnum was stolen out of the back seat of my car.
WTF. yea thats real. really fucking lame. really hood. really tremont. really? 4 real.
so i was heart broken
i mean really.
that thing was ripping so hard in louisville
when i found out i had to go to work
i looked like a ghost. i felt gut punched.
well a month later and guess what the cops found it
you know what? i'm already bored with you blog.
sorry.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
toledo, youngstown, mopeds, breakups, yea
spent the past weekend getting annihilated in youngstown with the black pipes, "Youngstown's toughest moped gang" ha. derek abby chris and christian are all really good people, young folks that mean well and know how to have a good time, and have some pretty awesome mopeds to show for it. unfortunately our riding time got cut short, we were riding in the rain and then my plug got wet so... we had to use derek's 102 to "tow" me back to black pipes HQ.
they need to reassess their choices of liqour, though.
i understand, when you are young and reckless, that buying a bottle of old grand dad seems like a good idea. its cheap, its whiskey, it'll put hair on your chest. but that shit..... must be filtered thru dirty old underwear, or who knows what the fuck kind of industrial process they use to make it. it tastes like poison, and the next day you feel like you were poisoned. oh, were you hoping to work on mopeds and ride and have more fun the next day? too bad, you drank this shitty brown "liqour" and now you are going to be laid up on the couch with your body screaming in agony for the next... 10 hours. HAHA U FAIL. seriously, i put the nastiest greasiest breakfasts into my body to counteract the rawness of my hangover, and that helped, but... holy fuck. not to be all "old man" but my days of doing random shots and drinking horrible shit just b/c its there, those days need to be over. just give me my fucking super high grade vodka, splash a bit of cranberry in it, twist of lime, and i'm a happy camper. maybe a good beer or two as well, but even then, i just hate feeling hung over. it kills my drive. instead of getting stuff done, i just lay around the house and do nothing. which is ok every once and a while, but life is too short to just lay around and do nothing.
toledo....
toledo is just as depressing as youngstown.
the city is falling apart, the people for the most part suck, and its almost 2 hours away from cleveland. at least youngstown is only like an hour away. that extra hour makes a big difference. so i went to toledo, to do a little parts swap with andy, and get some more parts to complete a trade with this kid in akron, for my race bike project. i mean, the real reason is i needed some rob time, but when i got there there was some drama going on, and everyone was stressing out. seth had just wrecked rob's tomos and the forks were snapped at the bottom race, kayla and rob were yelling at each other about something stupid, and andy was stressed that these other people were stressed. i was just happy to get my hands greasy and change the reeds on my tomos, i put in some carbon fiber malossi reeds i got from treats, hoping i would get a bit more snap and kick, maybe gain a 1-2 mph on the top end, and i put on a new petcock as well. well i first started the tomos and hmm not any difference, in fact it was running crappier, and i thought hmm maybe i need to downjet to a 60 from a 62 it being spring and not winter. but midway thru our ride the tomos started cutting out, like a loss of fuel. maybe the new petcock wasn't flowing properly? air bubbles in my fuel line? reeds not functioning properly? who the fuck knows. the point is somehow we did get home without calling the fail truck, and i felt like a fucking chump. these toledo kids look at me and rob as "gurus" and y'know i guess i do enjoy being admired for moped awesomeness, but when my shit breaks or whatever it just embarrasses me. i mean i am not a guru. i am just a tinkerer who has good luck with his mopeds.
and then theres the whole nicole situation. i have a million friends in my ear all the time telling me i should stay away from her, that she is bad news, that i am just going to get hurt again, that i don't deserve to be treated the way i was, etc etc etc. and on the one hand maybe they are right. i have alot of different feelings about her, all the time. I guess i get really super hung up when i think about the fact that she blatantly lied to me about this other guy, and that she lied to him about being single. i mean, if you're engaged to someone, you need to wear that ring, and wear it proudly. but instead, she went around and gave boys the impression that she was single. i mean, that is just so fucked up beyond belief. like she just wanted to get dicked down by some other dude, just to see what it was like. i dont know what the motivation was, i just know what the result was.
anyway, blog, i keep getting distracted with work.
i am really excited about field trip.
i am writing lyrics, and they are pretty personal, at least for one song.
i'm not all emo, but yea, yea i kinda am.
and rehashing a failed romance, well, its a pretty universal topic.
and it gets my blood pumping
and then i get to scream at the end
and that feels really good.
"every day i wake up with a heartbroken hangover"
feels like a good lyric
"were you just trying to be cool?"
feels like a good lyric.
allright blog.
i guess the one thing i came away with, in the past 24 hours, is that a place by itself, is nothing. neither cool, nor awesome nor whatever. what makes a place cool or suck or anything, is the people that inhabit it.
they need to reassess their choices of liqour, though.
i understand, when you are young and reckless, that buying a bottle of old grand dad seems like a good idea. its cheap, its whiskey, it'll put hair on your chest. but that shit..... must be filtered thru dirty old underwear, or who knows what the fuck kind of industrial process they use to make it. it tastes like poison, and the next day you feel like you were poisoned. oh, were you hoping to work on mopeds and ride and have more fun the next day? too bad, you drank this shitty brown "liqour" and now you are going to be laid up on the couch with your body screaming in agony for the next... 10 hours. HAHA U FAIL. seriously, i put the nastiest greasiest breakfasts into my body to counteract the rawness of my hangover, and that helped, but... holy fuck. not to be all "old man" but my days of doing random shots and drinking horrible shit just b/c its there, those days need to be over. just give me my fucking super high grade vodka, splash a bit of cranberry in it, twist of lime, and i'm a happy camper. maybe a good beer or two as well, but even then, i just hate feeling hung over. it kills my drive. instead of getting stuff done, i just lay around the house and do nothing. which is ok every once and a while, but life is too short to just lay around and do nothing.
toledo....
toledo is just as depressing as youngstown.
the city is falling apart, the people for the most part suck, and its almost 2 hours away from cleveland. at least youngstown is only like an hour away. that extra hour makes a big difference. so i went to toledo, to do a little parts swap with andy, and get some more parts to complete a trade with this kid in akron, for my race bike project. i mean, the real reason is i needed some rob time, but when i got there there was some drama going on, and everyone was stressing out. seth had just wrecked rob's tomos and the forks were snapped at the bottom race, kayla and rob were yelling at each other about something stupid, and andy was stressed that these other people were stressed. i was just happy to get my hands greasy and change the reeds on my tomos, i put in some carbon fiber malossi reeds i got from treats, hoping i would get a bit more snap and kick, maybe gain a 1-2 mph on the top end, and i put on a new petcock as well. well i first started the tomos and hmm not any difference, in fact it was running crappier, and i thought hmm maybe i need to downjet to a 60 from a 62 it being spring and not winter. but midway thru our ride the tomos started cutting out, like a loss of fuel. maybe the new petcock wasn't flowing properly? air bubbles in my fuel line? reeds not functioning properly? who the fuck knows. the point is somehow we did get home without calling the fail truck, and i felt like a fucking chump. these toledo kids look at me and rob as "gurus" and y'know i guess i do enjoy being admired for moped awesomeness, but when my shit breaks or whatever it just embarrasses me. i mean i am not a guru. i am just a tinkerer who has good luck with his mopeds.
and then theres the whole nicole situation. i have a million friends in my ear all the time telling me i should stay away from her, that she is bad news, that i am just going to get hurt again, that i don't deserve to be treated the way i was, etc etc etc. and on the one hand maybe they are right. i have alot of different feelings about her, all the time. I guess i get really super hung up when i think about the fact that she blatantly lied to me about this other guy, and that she lied to him about being single. i mean, if you're engaged to someone, you need to wear that ring, and wear it proudly. but instead, she went around and gave boys the impression that she was single. i mean, that is just so fucked up beyond belief. like she just wanted to get dicked down by some other dude, just to see what it was like. i dont know what the motivation was, i just know what the result was.
anyway, blog, i keep getting distracted with work.
i am really excited about field trip.
i am writing lyrics, and they are pretty personal, at least for one song.
i'm not all emo, but yea, yea i kinda am.
and rehashing a failed romance, well, its a pretty universal topic.
and it gets my blood pumping
and then i get to scream at the end
and that feels really good.
"every day i wake up with a heartbroken hangover"
feels like a good lyric
"were you just trying to be cool?"
feels like a good lyric.
allright blog.
i guess the one thing i came away with, in the past 24 hours, is that a place by itself, is nothing. neither cool, nor awesome nor whatever. what makes a place cool or suck or anything, is the people that inhabit it.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
yea, i never update, get over it.
no one reads this anyway. facebook is the new blog. get over it. i know i have. our attention spans get smaller by the minute. novels turn into blogs turn into status updates turn into twitters.....
i am on the internet all the time, but i never read blogs. they bore me. unless they are moped related with technical knowledge that i can use in a practical application, or unless it is someone who i don't see every day or whatever and they aren't on FB but they blog to let others know about their life, well i just don't read it. sorry. so i feel like, blogging just isn't like it used to be. if it ever was.
i guess right now its really hard for me to put a positive spin on the past few months.
i have let people down. i have let myself down. when it comes down to it, i don't feel like i am much of a man. people try to help me, my family tries to help me, and i get stuck, i get pissed, i get defensive. you know living in the moment only gets you so far, you have to plan for the future, and i never do that. i just let that shit slide. and slide it does. so that when i wreck a moped and break my collar bone and i can't work for a month, guess who pays the bills? not me. when i can't stop getting high and can't get out of bed to get to work at 10 oclock, or whatever it is, and i get fired, guess who pays the bills? not me. so we have a huge strain, financially, which leads to a huge strain, emotionally, which leads to questions about a future that is only a dream at this point, with no action to back up my pretty pretty words. and nothing to believe in. and then, the girl that you love to death, stops loving you, can only see the pattern of mistakes that have piled up on top of themselves, and reveal themselves, and then you are exposed, and that shine has worn off, and you don't have money to go on dates, to dress up and dance, to put in the time and attention that won her over in the first place. so as much as i want to blame nicole for our breakup, that is fucking wrong. i am responsible for this.
no i will not move on.
well maybe i will.
its all so fucked up.
i fucked it all up.
nothing dramatic, just...
i made promises
and i didn't follow through.
just like i always do.
the good news is that moped season is starting again really soon.
and that means rallys. and funz. and friends.
and warm weather.
and non stop riding.
the good news is that i am working full time
and i am doing my best to stay committed to being on time
and responsible. and who knows how long that will last.
ugh, whatever.
i'm over this.
later blog.
i am on the internet all the time, but i never read blogs. they bore me. unless they are moped related with technical knowledge that i can use in a practical application, or unless it is someone who i don't see every day or whatever and they aren't on FB but they blog to let others know about their life, well i just don't read it. sorry. so i feel like, blogging just isn't like it used to be. if it ever was.
i guess right now its really hard for me to put a positive spin on the past few months.
i have let people down. i have let myself down. when it comes down to it, i don't feel like i am much of a man. people try to help me, my family tries to help me, and i get stuck, i get pissed, i get defensive. you know living in the moment only gets you so far, you have to plan for the future, and i never do that. i just let that shit slide. and slide it does. so that when i wreck a moped and break my collar bone and i can't work for a month, guess who pays the bills? not me. when i can't stop getting high and can't get out of bed to get to work at 10 oclock, or whatever it is, and i get fired, guess who pays the bills? not me. so we have a huge strain, financially, which leads to a huge strain, emotionally, which leads to questions about a future that is only a dream at this point, with no action to back up my pretty pretty words. and nothing to believe in. and then, the girl that you love to death, stops loving you, can only see the pattern of mistakes that have piled up on top of themselves, and reveal themselves, and then you are exposed, and that shine has worn off, and you don't have money to go on dates, to dress up and dance, to put in the time and attention that won her over in the first place. so as much as i want to blame nicole for our breakup, that is fucking wrong. i am responsible for this.
no i will not move on.
well maybe i will.
its all so fucked up.
i fucked it all up.
nothing dramatic, just...
i made promises
and i didn't follow through.
just like i always do.
the good news is that moped season is starting again really soon.
and that means rallys. and funz. and friends.
and warm weather.
and non stop riding.
the good news is that i am working full time
and i am doing my best to stay committed to being on time
and responsible. and who knows how long that will last.
ugh, whatever.
i'm over this.
later blog.
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